Crafting Your Identity: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Author: Bill McDevitt, Founder at Top of the World Coaching
Have you ever wondered how others have shaped their lives? When I meet new people one of my favorite questions to ask is, "How did you get to where you are?" In their answers, I often glimpse their unique identities, shaped by their experiences, beliefs, and aspirations.
Identity is a fluid concept that evolves over time. In this month's blog, I'll share my professional journey and how my experiences, challenges, and triumphs have shaped my identity. From my early days as a paperboy to my current role as a business owner, I've witnessed firsthand how identity can change and grow.
The Paperboy
Years: A Foundation of Responsibility
My paperboy journey began when I was 12. Just two years later, I was promoted to branch captain, overseeing a team of 10 young carriers, aged 12 to 18 years old. In this role, I gained valuable experience in leadership, management, and customer service. Plus, I still had my own route to manage.
Skills learned – Customer service, time management, leadership, business development through cold calling, conflict resolution, negotiation, financial responsibility, work ethic, listening, and people management.
One of the big lessons I learned was which way to run when a problem occurs – An example of this happened when I was 14 years old. A friend of mine that was another paperboy wanted to go to a local fair one night. Since I had branch captain responsibilities and would be finishing my deliveries much later than him, we came up with a plan. He would deliver his papers and join me along my route to help me finish quicker. Unfortunately, he broke one of my customers windows while throwing a newspaper onto the customer’s porch. He froze momentarily, mumbled some words and then ran away. The window he broke belonged to Mr. H, who was not home at the time. I went to a neighbor’s house, told the neighbor what happened and asked for a pencil and some paper so I could leave Mr. H a note. I left a note, finished delivering the rest of my newspapers and went back to see Mr. H as I stated I would in the note I left. Mr. H asked me how I wanted to handle the broken window to which I responded that I wanted to pay for it and asked him how much it would be. He said he didn’t know but to stop back in a few days and he would let me know. In a few days when I stopped back, Mr. H told me how much it cost to fix the window and said he had an idea of how I could pay him back. He suggested a free paper until the window was paid off. That meant about 12 weeks of free papers to which I agreed. At the end of the 13th week, I stopped at Mr. H’s house to collect payment for the last week. He paid me and to my surprise gave me a nice tip as he had always done prior to the window incident. He also handed me an envelope and said the window invoice was inside for my records. He asked me not to open it until I got home. I agreed and continued delivering and collecting the rest of my route. When I got home, in the envelop I found the invoice, a note that read “thanks for being honest, you’ve earned this”. The envelope also contained 12 weeks’ worth of newspaper payments and the tips to go with it.
My paperboy days instilled in me a strong foundation of empathy, integrity, innovation, self-awareness, and social responsibility. These values have been instrumental in shaping my approach to life and business.
McDonald's: Developing Empathy and Resilience
I started my career with McDonald's in the summer of 1976 and spent nearly the next 3 decades there. I had many roles there, but my favorite was that of a business coach. During that time, I worked for 2 franchisees and the franchisor. It was early in my McDonald's career that I decided that one day I was going to exit corporate America and start my own business. I was going to learn everything I needed to know to become a business coach.
McDonald's is where I learned a lot about people, including myself. It's where I developed my 3 pillars of leadership: empathy, flexibility, and self-awareness. And that I couldn't do it alone no matter how hard I tried.
It's also where I refined my skills and learned one of my greatest skills – listening.
Since my livelihood depended on mostly teenagers, it was a great learning experience for when I became a parent. Early 80's McDonald's is where I started my "Top of the World, thank you for asking, and you" response. Listening and teenagers played a big part in the reasoning why!
My years at McDonald's were filled with memorable encounters and lasting friendships. One of the most significant was meeting my wife, who became the love of my life and the mother of our two boys.
I learned about setting goals, both my own and those set for me by others and the importance of knowing the difference.
I also learned about looking at the big picture and how today's actions were going to impact that picture in the future.
McDonald's is where I learned about priorities and how intertwined personal and professional priorities really are. Most of my business decisions have been based on how they would impact my personal life.
As my boys' high school days were finishing up, so was my McDonald's career. They would be off to college soon, and it was time for Carol and I to start preparing our runway to open our own business.
CertaPro Painters: Embracing Entrepreneurship
The plan was for me to get a better paying Monday-Friday job for 10 years. After 10 years, I would start the coaching business, and Carol would work for another 7 years to cover living expenses. That was to be our runway.
In the summer of 05, I started looking. I did some practice interviews since I had been on the hiring side of the table for so long.
I haven't mentioned networking until now, but I want to show an example of why it's so important to build a strong network. I coached youth hockey for many years, and one of the guys I coached with heard I was looking for a job and offered me an opportunity to interview for a position with CertaPro. Our kids had played hockey together for about 5 years at that point. I knew he worked at CertaPro. What I didn't know was he was the president and CEO. He stayed out of the interview process, but at the end of August of 05, I was offered and accepted a position with CertaPro Painters.
During the interview, the EVP posed a question that has stayed with me: Do you like to win, or hate to lose? He assured me there was no right or wrong answer. While I responded that losing can be a valuable learning experience, I couldn't help but sense that his body language suggested otherwise.
I held many roles in the 14 plus years I was with CertaPro and was able to refine my skills working with high achieving business owners with diverse backgrounds.
Yes, I said 14 plus years, not 10. What happened? As I always like to say, if you want to hear a laugh from above, make a plan!
Five years into my CertaPro journey, we lost Carol to breast cancer. Despite the grief, she urged me to persevere with our plans for starting my own business. Knowing it would take longer to achieve our dream, I committed to staying at CertaPro until I was 62.
Remember what I said about plans?
In October 2019, my employment with CertaPro ended, a little over 2 years shy of 62. It was their idea, not mine LOL.
Anyway, to me, it was a sign to stop waiting and go execute our plan. On January 1, 2000, Top of the World Coaching was born!
My Key Takeaways
Identity is a journey: It's not a destination, but a continuous process of self-discovery.
Early experiences matter: Your childhood experiences can have a lasting impact on your identity.
Empathy is essential: Understanding and connecting with others is crucial for building a strong identity.
Resilience is key: Overcoming challenges can help you develop a resilient and adaptable identity.
Networking is valuable: Building relationships can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal growth.
Leadership is about more than the title: It's about your character, values, and ability to inspire others.
Legacy is ongoing: Your identity and impact continue to evolve throughout your life.
Conclusion
Crafting your identity is a journey, not a destination. It's a process of self-discovery that can be filled with both challenges and triumphs. Embrace your unique qualities and celebrate your differences. By reflecting on your past, embracing challenges, and practicing empathy, you can create a life that is both fulfilling and meaningful. Remember, you are the author of your own story. Write it well.
Hi, I’m Bill! I grow people so people can grow businesses. I’ve been working with small business owners and leaders for over 4 decades. My company, Top of the World Coaching, is here to help you reach your goals and summit your vision. Reach out today for a free complimentary Discovery Call and start your ascent to the top of your world.