Bill McDevitt (Coach BMcD)

Founder at Top of the World Coaching

Small business and leadership coach

Growing people to grow businesses for over 4 decades

Welcome to this month's blog! This is a bit different. Throughout April, I've been sharing thoughts on LinkedIn about core elements that drive effective leadership and growth. Today, I want to weave those insights together, showing how your foundational Leadership Pillars, your approach to Listening, and your engagement with Feedback aren't isolated skills – they're deeply interconnected and, when working in harmony, create a powerful engine for personal and professional success.

Your Core: The Three Pillars of Leadership

Think of your leadership effectiveness as being built upon a few key pillars. For me, three stand out as essential:

• Self-awareness: It all starts with knowing yourself – your strengths, your blind spots, and how you tend to show up. Without this clarity, it's tough to lead authentically or understand your impact.
  • My Experience: Early in my career, I wasn't always aware of how my direct communication style could be perceived. It was through self-reflection and feedback that I began to understand and adapt it.
  • Your Action: Take some time this week for honest self-reflection. What are you really good at? Where do you tend to stumble? Ask yourself how your actions might be landing with others. Consider using a journal to track your reflections.
• Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others is crucial for building trust and connection. Edith Stein outlined three stages of empathy that resonate deeply with me:

• 1. Cognitive Empathy: Understanding the other person's perspective – their thoughts and what might be important to them.
  2. Emotional Empathy: Feeling what the other person is feeling, connecting with their emotions on a personal level.
  3. Compassionate Empathy: Not only understanding and feeling, but also being moved to help or support the other person.

• • My Observation: I've seen teams thrive when leaders move through these stages, genuinely connecting with their people, especially during challenging times. Acknowledging their concerns on a cognitive and emotional level, and then offering support, makes a huge difference.
  • Your Action: In your next conversation, consciously try to move through Stein's stages of empathy. First, try to understand their viewpoint. Then, consider what emotions they might be experiencing. Finally, think about how you can best support them.
• Flexibility: The world keeps changing, and so must we as leaders. Being rigid in your approach can be a real roadblock. Adaptability is key.
  • My Learning: There have been times when my initial plan just wasn't working. Being willing to pivot, to try a different approach, has often led to breakthroughs.
  • Your Action: Think about a current challenge. Are you stuck in one way of thinking about it? Brainstorm two or three completely different approaches you could take.

The Power of Your Ears: Listening That Truly Connects

These foundational pillars are amplified by how well you listen:

• Active Listening: Being fully present, engaged, and making sure you truly understand what's being said.
  • My Tip: Put away the distractions. Focus on the person speaking. Ask clarifying questions. Summarize to ensure you've got it right.
  • Your Action: In your next meeting or one-on-one, consciously practice active listening. Make it your sole focus.
• Beyond the Words: Nonverbal Cues: People communicate in more ways than just talking. Pay attention to their body language and tone.
  • My Insight: Sometimes what isn't said speaks volumes. A shift in posture, a change in tone – these can signal underlying feelings.
  • Your Action: Observe the nonverbal cues in your next few interactions. What might they be telling you that the words alone aren't?
• Listening with Heart: Empathy in Action: Truly understanding someone means connecting with their emotions. Building on Edith Stein's stages, this means moving beyond just understanding their situation to feeling what they might be feeling.
  • My Approach: When someone shares a challenge, I try to understand their perspective (cognitive empathy) and then connect with the emotions they're expressing (emotional empathy). This helps me offer more relevant support (compassionate empathy).
  • Your Action: When someone shares something difficult, try to identify the emotions they're conveying. Ask yourself, "What might it feel like to be in their shoes?" This will deepen your ability to listen with true empathy.

The Growth Engine: Embracing Feedback

Finally, your ability to give and receive feedback is a powerful catalyst for growth, and it's all intertwined with your pillars and listening skills:

• Giving Feedback That Lands: Be timely, specific about behaviors, balanced, and focus on solutions.
  • My Philosophy: Feedback should be about helping someone grow, not just pointing out flaws.
  • Your Action: Think of someone you need to give feedback to this week. Plan out your approach using those principles.
• Receiving Feedback with Grace: Be open, listen to understand (even if it's tough), and reflect on what you hear.
  • My Journey: I haven't always loved getting feedback, but I've learned that even the tough stuff can be incredibly valuable if I'm willing to hear it.
  • Your Action: Seek out feedback from someone you trust this week. Ask a specific question about how you can improve in a certain area.
• Making Feedback a Habit: Don't wait for formal reviews. Regular, informal feedback is much more impactful.
  • My Belief: Feedback should be an ongoing conversation, not an annual event.
  • Your Action: Schedule a quick check-in with a team member or colleague this week specifically to give and receive feedback.

Putting It All Together

The magic happens when these three areas – your leadership foundation, your listening skills, and your approach to feedback – work together. Your self-awareness helps you frame feedback effectively. Your empathy, informed by Edith Stein's stages, allows you to listen deeply to both give and receive feedback with greater understanding. Your flexibility helps you adapt your communication in all these areas.

Make a conscious effort to connect these dots in your leadership. It’s a journey, not a destination, and progress, not perfection, is the goal.

What connections have you seen between these areas in your own leadership? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Hi, I’m Bill (Coach BMcD)! Growing people to grow businesses for over 4 decades. I work with small business owners, leaders and teams to help them overcome their obstacles and create a culture for sustained profitable growth. My company, Top of the World Coaching, is here to help you summit your goals and realize your vision.

Reach out today for a free complimentary Discovery Call and start your ascent to the Top of YOUR World.