Here at Top of the World Coaching, we believe that communication is the foundation of strong relationships and outstanding leadership. But are we truly communicating, or just exchanging information? Sometimes, we miss the mark because we focus on the surface of a question and react instead of truly understanding what's being asked. This month let's dive into the importance of knowing the "why" behind the questions we encounter.

Beyond the "What"

Imagine questions as keys. The quick, fact-finding questions (the "what") open basic doors: What time is it? What's on the agenda? But the real magic lies in the "why" questions. These are the keys that unlock deeper insights, motivations, and potential solutions.

Think about it this way: A team member asks, "Will this project take longer than expected?" It's easy to rattle off a yes or no. But what if there's more to it? Are they worried about their own workload, their contribution to the team's success, or a looming client deadline? Taking a moment to uncover the "why" behind their question transforms a simple exchange into an opportunity for understanding and problem-solving.

The Art of Active Listening

To get to the heart of the "why," we need to become masters of active listening. This superpower isn't about passively hearing words; it's about tuning in to the whole person. Pay attention to:

• Word choice: What verbs and adjectives do they use?
• Tone of voice: Is there hesitation, excitement, frustration?
• Body language: Are they tense, engaged, or distracted?

Active listening shows the other person that we care enough to go beneath the surface, creating a space for trust and more genuine conversations.

Clarifying Questions: Your Investigative Toolkit

Sometimes, the question asked isn't the real question. Clarifying questions are your friends, helping you peel back the layers! Try these approaches:

• Open-ended follow-ups: "Tell me more about what's behind your question."
• Rephrasing: "So, you're wondering if this project delay will impact our client relationship?"
• Focusing on feelings: "It sounds like this has you a bit worried. Is that right?"

Embracing the Unknown

Let's face it, nobody knows everything! What to do when stumped by a question?

• Own it: "That's a great question! I don't have the answer offhand, but I'm committed to finding out."
• Turn it into teamwork: "Let's explore this together. Where do you think we might find the answer?"

Honesty and a willingness to learn build trust and can be far more valuable than a rushed, potentially inaccurate answer.

Turning "How Are You" into More

A great example of demonstrating active listening and engagement is how you respond to the common question, "How are you?" Instead of the typical "good" or "fine," you reply with, "I'm on top of the world, thanks for asking!" This response accomplishes several things:

• Acknowledges their question: It shows you heard them and didn't dismiss their inquiry.
• Answers appropriately: You provide a positive answer that reflects your general well-being.
• Invites further engagement: By adding "thanks for asking," you open the door for a potential conversation by expressing your appreciation for their interest.

This approach showcases your ability to not only answer the "what" (your current state) but also consider the "why" (their intent to connect and potentially engage further).

The Bottom Line

Taking time to understand the "why" behind a question has ripple effects:

• Stronger relationships: Show genuine interest in the person, not just the problem.
• Improved problem-solving: Uncover the root cause to find better solutions.
• Empowerment: Encourage others to think deeper and ask their own "why" questions.

Remember, some of the greatest discoveries start with a question. Let's make those questions count!

Progress not perfection!

Bill McDevitt

Founder at Top of the World Coaching

I grow people so people can grow businesses.

Ready to align your business with a deeper purpose? Visit TOTWCoaching.com to explore how coaching can help you discover and embrace your purpose for a more fulfilling and impactful journey in business. Alternatively, you can email me at bmcdevitt@totwcoaching.com to start a conversation about your path to making a positive impact.